So B (my oldest) had surgery on Friday. I gave his dad notice that he was going to have it and I told him when it was going to be and where and He didn’t come to visit him in recovery he didn’t come to visit him in the afternoon and he wouldn’t bring G ( my youngest ) home. When I asked him why he didn’t come to see him he told me that it was crossing a line because we are in the middle of a divorce and a custody issue which there is no issue he just doesn’t understand that his son had surgery and wanted to see him and he had no care to come see him. Also he made me pick up G which is ridiculous because I do all of the dropping off and all of the picking up and it’s not fair at this point I asked him if one of his family members could drop G off and that wouldn’t even happened so something needs to change. My mom ended up having to pick up G and bring him home because B couldn’t be in the car b/c he was nauseated coming off anesthesia. It breaks my heart that he cares that little. I even told him I would leave the house while he visited with B and he still didn’t come. – so lame of his dad to do this. He should be ashamed of himself!
So for the better part of 2 years, my ex and I have been on amicable terms. We were getting along and everything was ok with our kids. However, he thought it meant more, and I was just trying to get to a point where we could get along and show him that we could get along. He thinks I led him on. Nothing ever happened between us, physically but he still contends that I was leading him on. During this time, he had every other weekend with the kids and every Wednesday night. If the kids had a birthday party, we would all go and pick out the present then we would all go to the birthday party. Everything was fine, until it wasn’t. We would fight about stupid, silly things. One night in late June, he told me to just go ahead and reschedule mediation. So, I did just that, and that is when everything changed. He grew very bitter to me, and would not even discuss anything with me. He is so angry at me, and for what? B/c he thinks I led him on. I didn’t lead him on. I wasn’t sleeping with him and making him think we were going to get back together, and then one day, just stop. Anyway, he has now made it impossible to go back to the time when things were amicable. He has filed for sole primary custody and joint legal custody. What blows my mind is that for the first 18 months of separation, he wouldn’t even take the kids overnight, yet now he wants them full-time. What is it with men? They think their actions have no ramifications? I am not saying all men, but those I have encountered. Perhaps, I just have a shitty taste in men. You know the phrase, “marry up?” Yea, I didn’t do that. I married someone who I thought was always going to be a laid back person and go with the flow. The problem is, he is this person, nothing really bothers him, including not working or trying to support his family, and here in lies the issue. We had a good thing going. I worked, while he got to mess around with his friends, and have the bachelor life, except he wasn’t a bachelor, he had two kids and a wife. Anyway, court is the next week for a whole bunch of things…and I just can’t believe it has come to this. Have you ever heard of a mom having to fight her unfit ex for her kids? or have to pay spousal support b/c he didn’t work for so long? Justice system is jacked…I provide for my kids and work for their benefit, but may lose half of them b/c he sat on his butt and slacked off…how is that fair?
I was never popular. I never fit in, especially in high school. I remember I was taking this holocaust class it was a great class but we had a trip to Washington DC and I didn’t have any friends in the class and I ended up in a hotel room with the popular kids and have never felt more out of place and it’s not even what they did to make me feel out of place it’s just how I felt. I always wanted to walk to my own beat. But I wanted people to like me and for some reason They just didn’t at least not all the time. so my senior year in high school a guy hit on me in class and I was supposed to meet him downtown and I was so scared that I didn’t go and my friend went instead and she ended up dating him and I punch myself and get mad at myself every time I look back on that day because that could’ve been me… I wonder if my life would have been different if I had met up with him…would I have been different in college, be in a rush to find love, find love in all the wrong places. I wonder how my life would be different. Then I will look at my two beautiful boys and realize that I don’t want my life to be any different and even though I wasn’t one of the popular kids I am the most popular person to my two kids and that is all that matters.
I am a sarcastic working mommy of two boys. I have been going through a separation and divorce for almost three years !! – ready for it to be over. I am just trying to keep my head above water and my boys happy all at the same time. To add to the madness (boys are 6 and almost 5), we have a 9 month old puppy and 2 cats. Throughout this process, I am seeing the true colors of people, and who my real friends are. I started this to remember the times I’ve shared with my kids and one day look back and remember the strength I had to get through this as there are days when I feel like it’s never going to get better. I know it will, but this will show me (hopefully) that I can get through anything.